Technology Hates Me

So back in February, I decided that I didn’t want to wait until April to update my phone, seeing as how the current one and I had stopped getting along. We no longer saw eye to eye. Phone found it necessary to delete text messages and shut off at random intervals.

(note: I tend to anthropomorphize things. A lot. Like, my car, guitar, and gun all have names. So if this bugs you, it’s probably in your best interest to stop reading. )

So I decided to terminate my relationship with Phone. I went to Verizon with the intent of getting a nice, simple little flip phone because I think flip phones are nifty. I walked out with a Blackberry. It was free and I wanted one. So there.

This has turned out to be both a good choice and bad choice all at once. Good choice, because it has maps and I get lost easily, so when that happens I no longer panic and yell at random people (I do that anyway. More on that later). I have interwebs, which I am too cheap to get for my laptop, and when I forget my IPod I can listen to Pandora at the gym. Bad because 60% of the time it does something and I have no idea why and then I panic because I think I spent all this money on a lousy phone.

I have gone to the Verizon store for phone issues several times in the last month. Every time, the salesman will explain gently what the issue is, pat me on my yellow-helmet clad head, and send me on my merry way. Last time though, I think I was in the right. Observe:

Me: I’m having phone issues.
Verizon Guy: What seems to be the problem?
Me: the LED light keeps flashing, even when I don’t have any type of notification.
VG: That happens sometimes. (He then goes on to tell me about some other lady who came in with the same problem and she hadn’t checked a missed call and it made him look smart and the lady look stupid.)
Me: But I don’t have any missed calls (read: no one calls me).
VG: It can be a bunch of other things, like Facebook maybe? Text messages? Updates?
Me: NO. I delete all text messages after I read/reply to them, it’s not Facebook, THERE IS NOTHING MY PHONE IS TRYING TO TELL ME. It just keeps flashing and I don’t like it.
VG: (repeats the drivel he said before about stuff I haven’t checked)
Me: IT’S NOT THAT. (unsaid: moron.)

Verizon Guy then proceeds to take the back off my phone, take out the battery and thus restart the phone. That’s IT? That’s the magical solution?

He then tells me that the next time it does that, bring the phone in. So basically if I get a text at work and the light does not stop flashing even after the text has been read, replied to and deleted, I have to let the light flash for hours until I can take it to the Verizon store to have them look at it. Thanks Verizon. You rock. Not.